Sometimes a small, insignificant thing happens. And it makes you see everything so much clearer – the past, the person …
You get flashbacks of all the clues you’ve had over time. In front of your eyes. And you wonder, how come I didn’t see this before? Was I stupid?
No. You were just in your own story, believing a tale you created for yourself. For the comfort of your mind. For the peace.
You dwelled on it. You hanged on to it as long as you could, pretending it was alive.
Until you couldn’t anymore because it was too dead; and it had already started to stink.
I find people weird and I’m the weirdest of them all.
And then, I figure that normality is weird and weirdness is normal.
What if, instead of the classical questions “How have you been doing?” and “How are you?” we’d ask:
“What have you been thinking about lately?”
At least it’s a question you can’t answer with the default “Fine, thanks”.
What if, we’d really answer this question?
Regrets are good. Having regrets helps you self-correct. And life is about self-correcting and self-adjusting yourself to the universal truths, to God, to what it means to be a human and a part of this world. Sometimes we don’t learn nor change unless we feel the pain of regret.
* Today I woke up to see almost everything covered in snow, despite being the end of March. I don’t complain. I like winter.
* I’m reading a book called The Icarus Deception. I love the ideas in it. It’s about how the economic society changed over time. To be successful, different things mattered in different times. And now is the time for being authentic, original, innovative. An artist. But most people’s minds are set on the safety zone defined in the past. Now, there is a new safety zone. But our mind, used with the old things, doesn’t perceive it as safe, yet. I only read 20% of the book. I’m sure there will be a lot of many other interesting insights in it. The author is Seth Godin, a well-known blogger.
* I haven’t dreamed for a long time (in my sleep, because I daydream all the time). I should be more careful about my consciousness and what I’m thinking of as I fall asleep.
* I’m fed up with Facebook. Maybe I’ll only post things here on the blog.
When I think of all the things I want to do and change about my life, I feel completely overwhelmed. And then, all I can hear is the voice inside my head that tells me that it’s pointless, impossible and that I don’t have the time. That it makes no sense and I’d better give up now, before being disappointed. That it’s useless to hope for things I can’t achieve.
So I wrote them down, all the big things I want to do or change in my life. And I realized that they are actually not that many. About seven or eight. Yes, big projects. Yes, I need consistency and to work on them for a longer period. But they seem a lot more doable when you look at them written down on a piece of paper. Some of them derive from others on the list, and I can work on them only after I achieve the others. That means that the list of things to work on right now is shorter. It came down to just five things I want.
I called this my Want List, and it goes on the front page of my all in one notebook for daily motivation and focus.